This all started with a dream.

I know everyone uses that cliché, but I mean a literal dream, the kind you have while sleeping.

But really it started before that.

As I think about it, what even is a beginning? Does anything really “begin” or is it always one continuous existence that merely changes, yet doesn’t necessarily “begin” or “end”?

Anyway, perhaps it started with a TV show or a movie about secret portals, parallel dimensions, telekinesis, spells, or just ordinary ghost stories and magic. I was and still am highly drawn to such stories. Those stories always tickled my highly imaginative mind. (Mild déjà vu as I wrote that.)

So I’ll start my story there—with my imagination—creating characters and worlds and acting them out and talking to trees like they were old friends. Which lead to drawing and writing poetry and making postmodern videos for no reason. Long before podcasts, I would record my own audio shows on cassette tapes with stories and special segments and songs, all for my imaginary listening audience.

There’s a philosophy that says art and creativity are forms of spirituality and spiritual channeling. And children who’ve not had their spiritual connections clipped yet, so easily channel that spirit of play, creativity, imagination, and fun.

So my imagination meets other people’s imaginations in the form of stories in books, movies, and art, and the magic expands and amplifies as my eyes open to greater possibilities.

And then a dream comes. In the era of home computers and dial up internet, I was so compelled by that dream that I searched Yahoo for any insights. I consulted multiple resources.

One of the first resources I relied on still has a soft spot in my heart, though I hardly use it anymore. It’s the Dream Moods website, which has the most extensive free content on dreams that I’ve yet to come across. They have a massive dream symbol dictionary that was very useful to me in the beginning. And this website also introduced me to the idea of chakras and the multiple clairs—clairvoyance, clairaudience, claircognizance, clairsentience, and so forth.

I was fascinated. And these ideas, though new to me, resonated like lost memories.

But I can’t remember my exact age. I remember very clearly that we were living on Shireburk Avenue, and we had our family’s white computer on a desk in the living room where I sat to do my dream studies. So it could have been as early as my teenage years and as late as my very early twenties.

And then life happened. I stopped journaling my dreams. I stopped researching chakras and mysticism. I don’t really recall why… Lack of reinforcement from my communities. The distraction of adulting…

It’s like I opted for a side quest then forgot that the side quest was a side quest, so I proceeded with the side quest as though it was my main quest, when it was merely a side quest meant to infuse and enrich my main quest. Whew!

Now nearly two decades later, what was once only wonder and curiosity as a youth has begun to reemerge and is pointing the way to a greater purpose. The “coincidence,” the coinciding of, all those childhood passions reemerging within me all at once has reminded me that I have other options, that other pathways are available for me to recover and return to.

I was headed somewhere, like I’d walked into this room called life and then got distracted and forgot why I’d originally come here…

What I invite you to reflect on and explore along with me are the stirrings of your inner child. Not with the intent to change careers or uproot your entire life (like your favorite Gemini newsletter writer, 😜).

But for the self-awareness, self-acknowledgement and self-recognition, and for merely the reminder of possibility, all the possibilities of your self.

And are we choosing ourselves based on what feels most authentic, based on what feels most compelling to our hearts?

For me, for years, this has only felt partially true. I’ve endured a painful couple of years waking up to the realization of how much joy, desire, imagination, and possibility I’ve denied myself in pursuit of a singular side quest. I experienced life changing, transformational healing, wisdom, and strength on this side quest, but to settle here would be a continued denial of my most self-actualized self. It’s very limiting that I had calibrated my compass according to how I could meet the needs of the world at the expense of true joy, fulfillment, and prosperity for myself.

And there was lots of anger and resentment in that, which ultimately revealed the need to grieve the versions of me that I did not choose, to grieve what could have been, the regrets, the opportunities and pathways that dissolved when I chose something else.

What unprocessed grief might you be carrying at this time?

Now my inner child, grateful for the care and healing she’s received yet restless to get back to her freedom and play, is beyond over it. She’s burst through the veil this year, held my face with both her hands, firmly yet lovingly, and said: “Thank you for the healing. And now I need you to remember who TF we are! We shall not be limited by the expectations of others. Or by the allure of comfort and validation. We are far greater. We are so much more! So now let’s get on with it, already!”

I think my soul and spirit guides are part of that chorus as well, Lol.

It’s all so dramatic. I know. But what can you expect from a girl who once talked to trees?

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Upcoming Newsletter Topics: I’m excited to share more of my personal journey with the topics I discuss in this newsletter. I’ve started today, and will open up more from time to time. Sometimes it helps to not just ponder these things, but to reflect on lived experiences. That said, this week’s topic was almost “Your Destiny vs. Alien Comets,” but I think I’ll write that one next week! Are there any recent topics you’d like me to explore again?

For those who are curious about my dream journey, I’m featuring a video I published on Dr. Sarah’s Café YouTube channel last year. I’m constantly reminding everyone who consumes my content that I’m not really providing “instruction,” just inspiration for you to explore these concepts for yourself! If you’d like to work more closely with me on dream journaling and other realms of transformation, let’s chat about my 1-on-1 coaching program!

Sincerey,