Fill Your Cup with Moon Light

How do you create justice, fairness, equity, beauty, and grace in all aspects of life, especially relationships with other people?

This is a question to ponder in the light of our full moon as it crosses over the constellation of Libra. ⚖️

I pulled a card from Abiola Abrams’s newest oracle deck and got “Oshun of Harmonic Balance.” So on the nose, right? The guidebook states:

“You need to restore your equilibrium. Whether it’s between work and play, giving and receiving, or your emotional and rational self, you are a bit off kilter. … She invites you to take a step back and assess where the imbalance lies. Are you giving more than you’re receiving…?”

There’s more that Abrams has written, but that brief excerpt speaks directly to an inner-standing I’d had about myself just days before: It’s not that I struggle to receive. It’s that I doubt that I will.

When I am offered things that feel good and aligned — compliments or presents or money or opportunities or food — I have practiced being able to accept and receive in joy and gratitude. That was an important layer of my overall healing. The deeper layer that I’ve become aware of is that I was lacking full-bodied faith that I will receive what I want, need, or ask for. And so I have struggled to ask. Which, I believe, is a common reason certain channels of receiving remained dormant.

In 2019 I did a guided meditation that brought me back to an early childhood memory I hadn’t thought about in ages. The memory came back so suddenly, unexpectedly, and viscerally that my body jolted off the sofa and I immediately started crying.

The lesson I’d deeply and painfully internalized by age 5 or 6 from that incident was that I was all alone in the storm. (In my memory there was a literal storm.) And I’ve seen how it conditioned me to believe I could not rely on others, especially men, to see about me or look after me; offer comfort, protection, or reassurance in my most frightening and lonely moments. It was the birth of what’s known as “hyper-independence.”

I subconsciously believed that no-one was actually going to show up for me when I needed. Despite the many times that people did show up for me, it had not been enough to override that childhood trauma. And any instance in which people did not show up of course reinforced that negative belief.

Over the past year, this dynamic played a huge role in my internal crisis about Colorism Healing — a worthwhile effort that I had given so much to without equitable return. And in the previous eclipse cycle it became clear to me that I could not keep sacrificing my authenticity, joy, and creative spirit in hopes of avoiding criticism, gaining approval, or achieving financial viability.

What I really needed to get was something I could only give to myself — permission to be Free, permission to be me.

The timing of this reflection is perfect since full moons are iconic opportunities for clarity, release, letting go, and shedding the skin we’ve outgrown.

Reflection:

This is how I’m filling my cup with full moon light. What about you? What has this culminating energy been revealing to you over time?

Reflection Questions: What aspect of my life is out of alignment now? What adjustments can I make to restore equilibrium in this part of my life or in my life as a whole? Do I struggle with receiving or with the belief that I will receive? If so, how can I start to open my springtime petals to receive the warmth of this new season?

What’s Brewing?

Maybelline New York Women’s Half Marathon!

I’m running my first ever half marathon later this month on April 27th! This will be such a significant milestone in preparing to run my first ever full marathon in November. As you know, I’m fundraising for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital as part of my marathon commitment. If you’d like to support this fundraising effort in any amount, you can do so via the St. Jude website or through Venmo/Cash App @ColorismHealing.

My Tarot Affirmations are BACK!

A few years ago, I experimented with offering individual tarot affirmations. I got a couple of customers on a pay-what-you-can basis who were really satisfied! In this new expansion of Colorism Healing, I’m going through the sankofa portal to bring this offering back to the present. This feels like the right scope of intuitive tarot work for me in this phase of transition, and it has proven to be quite valuable to some people. You can order your personalized affirmation right here!

Venus Moon Solidifies Colorism Healing’s Romantic Era

I’ve been feeling soul tired and soul inspired at the same time. The CH cup has been running low on joy and pleasure for too long, so you’ll be seeing much gentler and softer, much more playful and spiritual content here and elsewhere online. Content creator Lynae Vanee has recently launched a new segment and style of content she calls “Sundays in the Overflow.” This is the whole vibe for me. CH is a space for my overflow.

I offer a warm welcome to all who want to savor this Venusian flavor with me, whether in small sips as you take breaks from other areas of focus, or whether you need to take several large gulps to replenish and refuel your own vessel. Let’s refill our cups together.

☕️💫

Sincerely,
Dr. Sarah