Maybe it was that old rocking chair I sat in.

At my grandparents old home, where my mom and her eight siblings all grew up, there was a 1980’s style rocking chair where all the children wanted to sit. It was often occupied by adults or older young people. But one particular night, I got to sit in this special seat for awhile.

There was another small kid like me, no older than six, and two older kids around 11-13. We decided we’d play house. The older kids would play our parents and us tiny tots would pretend to be their babies. It was a simple, common game we were all familiar with. But something about this evening was different.

The older girl in our group had a severe skin condition. When she reached out to scoop the smaller kid into her lap, the little kid recoiled and blurted out, “Eeeewww! No! I don’t want to touch you! I don’t want to be your baby!”

Time slowed down in my memory.

I can still remember being in my body and looking out through my eyes. Not with my eyes. I came into a level of presence and consciousness that looking back now as a 40-year-old, I don’t believe was just my own 6-year-old wisdom at work.

This is my earliest memory of realizing that I was not meant to follow my peers, not meant to do and say something just because it’s what others were doing and saying. I was meant to move differently.

I looked at the hysterical small kid. Then I looked up at the older girl. After a beat, I said: “I’ll be your baby.” And I went and climbed into her lap.

Yeah, I was generally a kind child, but this time was noticeably different. It felt different to me even back then, and I held that experience deep within my psyche for years as a reminder to myself—there’s something else, something more than what’s on the surface of life.

Okay, maybe not in those exact words back then, Lol. But that’s the gist of what that moment has meant for me ever since. I still get chills when I talk about it.

So… maybe it was that old rocking chair I’d sat in. Perhaps that chair was a portal connecting to the other side.

Portal or not, I believe a wiser, more loving consciousness spoke to and through me that night. Based on recent happenings, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was my grandmother. Maybe another ancestor. Or an angel. The Holy Spirit. My own inter-dimensional soul… I can’t name the specifics, but I was channeling something beyond me that night. And as far as I can tell, that presence has stayed with me.

Et toi?

Wander through the halls of your own memory.

What were the moments in your personal life that felt like bigger moments. Moments where you thought and felt: this is a moment, after which you never see the world or yourself the same again. What experiences from your past seemed guided by a loving presence that came in closer than usual, so close that it could look through your eyes, or speak through your mouth, or move with your hands?

Even if you don’t recall any such moments behind you, open your mind and heart to witness such glimpses now and going forward.

These are the kinds of stories and questions I want us to explore in the Soul Café live on November 8th! If you’re on my mailing list, next week’s Refill will include a link to the free webinar. And if you want more content from me after that, you can sign up here.

Sincerely,