Hey Beautiful!
It’s okay to fall in love, even as things fall apart. Fall in love with yourself, with life, with culture, with people, with that person…
If you ask me (you didn’t, but if you had), I’d say the reason our hearts break when there’s death, especially on a mass scale, is because part of us knows, believes that life is worth living. And love, in all its infinite flavors, is the reason why.
Last year I returned to the practice of working with my dreams. A recurring theme was the need to get out of my head and get deeper into my heart. To live more wholeheartedly, more openheartedly. Apparently this is common across humanity, lol. No surprise there. Past hurts from birth onward cause us to close our hearts even in subtle ways. And it has nothing to do with whether or not you’re “partnered,” btw!
One dream symbol that speaks to this is snow or ice. I remember getting a very simple vision of a giant cube of ice slowly melting on a stovetop. That brings me to the Flavor of the Week…
Flavor of the Week 😋: Fire and Desire
The song “Fire and Desire” (7:17) by Rick James and Teena Marie is an R&B classic! I used to love the vocal range and power of this duet. But only now in crafting this week’s Refill do I have a new appreciation for the song lyrics:
“I think back to when we met. The way I used to be and the cold way I used to act. But more than that, I think of how you changed me with your love and sensitivity… I was cold as ice long ago… Then I kissed your lips and you turned on my fire. And you burn me up within your flame. Took me a little higher. Made me live again.”
I know I have to communicate very directly that I’m not focusing on romantic love here, though that’s clearly included. My question is: Who and/or what turns on your fire? “Who” can be one person, a group, or all of humanity. “What” can be a place, an activity, a calling or purpose, nature, or anything. And when I say “turns on your fire” I mean: What inspires you to live? What infuses your days with smiles, joy, peace, inspiration, purpose, or energy?
The Lineages of Change Tarot: The Root of Fire
The tarot card I pulled for this week lead the charge down this path of passion. It’s “The Root of Fire” from The Lineages of Change Tarot (knight of wands in other decks). Generally speaking, this cards represents excitement, passion, energy, instinctive flow, and adventure. Here’s a brief line from the guide book:
“Who is calling for your fire? You seek what is seeking you. Find grounding. Find a rhythm.”
And the quote they’ve paired with this card is from a classic essay by Audre Lorde:
“When we begin to live from within outward, in touch with the power of the erotic within ourselves, and allowing that power to inform and illuminate our actions upon the world around us, then we begin to be responsible to ourselves in the deepest sense.”
As you can see, there are multiple ways to articulate the idea that personal hurts, rejection, alienation, loneliness, collective trauma, oppression, colonization, patriarchy, capitalism… has triggered our protective coping mechanism of closing off our hearts, hardening our hearts, shielding them in a thick layer of dense ice. Furthermore, society has a systemic mandate to prioritize head over heart and to believe in separatism and hyper-individualism.
Society has conditioned us to think vulnerability is weakness, is disgraceful. But this week, we celebrate the strength and courage that it takes to show up to our lives, our relationships, and to face ourselves with openhearted vulnerability.
What the “Fire and Desire” song lyrics don’t reflect is that we don’t have to wait and hope for an external spark because we can rekindle our own inner flame.
Enter: Mercury Retrograde in the zodiac sign of Leo (7/17)!
As I’ve previously discussed with the planet Mercury moving through the constellation (zodiac sign) of Leo, the theme is heartfelt, courageous self-expression. Leo is one of the zodiac signs associated with fire. One of it’s symbols (in addition to the lion) is the SUN! Literal fire power. In our solar system, it doesn’t get much hotter than the sun.
For this reason, I see Mercury in Leo as an opportunity to melt the icy walls we’ve built around our hearts and deepen our relationship with our own inner fire. With Mercury retrograde in particular (no, I don’t spread Mercury retrograde hysteria, lol), it’s an opportunity to look within, to turn our attention inward and reflect on our true heart’s desires. Mercury retrograde in Leo is a great opportunity to stoke the dwindling flame, to add kindling and revive the heat and passion.
If people or situations from your past return, see it as an opportunity to reflect on how much you’ve healed, grown, gotten stronger and freer since the last time you encountered them. It doesn’t mean you have to return to any people or situations you’ve outgrown. But if you hear echoes from the past during this retrograde, let them affirm to your heart that you are better now, that you don’t have to continue living in fear of the past.
My Loves, I hope you were able to stay with me through this winding exploration. Let me know just a little something that’s lighting a spark in your heart right now.
What’s Brewing? ☕️
Soulful Leadership Training Series: I’m launching the Soulful Leadership Series—a unique training and speaking experience designed for organizations that integrates the most powerful insights and practices I’ve developed over years of teaching, coaching, and guiding change. Contact me if you’d like to learn more!
Full Cup Fridays Live on Instagram: A community fave is back! Instagram live streams, this time focused on connecting with and loving on each other, providing a space to breathe and smile at the end of the week. Join us Friday afternoons around 1pm ET!
St Jude Children’s Hospital Marathon Fundraiser: If you’d like to help me cross the finish line, my running helps support children receiving cancer treatments at St. Jude Children’s Hospital. You can make a donation of any amount through the St. Jude portal or Cash App/Venmo @ColorismHealing.
Open Mic 🎤
Thrilled to present Audre Lorde reading her full essay, “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power.”
Whole- and Open-heartedly,
Dr. Sarah